In the Beginning...
Like most
fasts, this journey started right before going to bed. Hands trembling, I lay
my new iPhone 6+ down on the padded surface of my nightstand. Typically it's in
my hands, entertaining my mind with eBooks, timelines, random videos, and
sometime educational junk. When I finally put the phone down, my mind rolls
with thoughts for over an hour before the exhaustion takes it toll and my mind
force shuts down.
Last
night, it took at least 2 hours for my mind to wind down. I blame it on not
having my 1-3 hour fix of blue light screen. I woke up periodically to
"check the time" but really, I just wanted to make sure my phone was
still there. It's hard to remember that your are fasting when you are just
going through the sub-conscious movements.
12 hours down!
36 more to go....
The
morning is strange. My typical routine consists of telling my phone to shut up
multiple times, taking the phone and checking the social medias, just in case
my friends from the middle east posted something, because they are up during
the day, which is night for us. Nothing really changes but it's a nice review
from the night before. Perhaps its just more a reassurance that the world isn't
change so fast that from one day to the next, there is some semblance of
consistency. While eating my breakfast I usually turn on a TED Talk for
some daily inspiration and then make way to school. It seems to be a routine
that works well, I least I feel content with it, for now.
Rambling...
Back to what I was saying, this morning was strange. I grabbed a book. Leather
bound, thin silky like pages with gold edges. Each page has two columns of text
in a modified WTC Goudy font. I remember looking that up from viz comm, because
I wanted to make my text look like it was the word of God! Now I can come
close.
Wow, it’s kind of hard to stay focused. I tried
getting through a chapter, but I would come up to a word, or a phrase and I
would grab “nothing” thinking that my phone would be there. All I wanted to do
was look something up that had come up in my reading, or more often than not random
thoughts pop into my head and I want to look them up. Maybe I’m just becoming
more visual.
Survivor
– Day 1
Thank goodness for nature. I went out and took
lots of pictures; it was a good distraction from not having my phone. Phantom
vibration syndrome, yeah one of those random things that I looked up, is when
you feel a buzz on your leg where your phone typically rests in your pocket,
the buzz feels like you’re getting a vibration notification of a text or a call,
and the reality is, you’re just crazy. Well I’m crazy! I felt my leg buzz all
day. I even caught myself just checking my pocket in a made sweat fearing that
my phone had fell on the path. It was in the car, just in a case of an
emergency.
I remember what life was like when I had to
remember 7 digits combinations and I would tell you the last four digits of
almost any one of my friends home phones. I thought, do I know my wife’s
number, Yes! Do I know my moms number, NO. Whose number do I know? I could only
think of my wife’s number. Sad day! I sure hope that there isn’t an EMP, like,
ever!
24
hrs. down – 24 to go!
Some time I think they need to put me a padded
room and restrict my body movements to standing walking, and moving my head
back and fourth. OK It’s not that bad. But I do feel like I’m going somewhat
insane. My life in southern Utah has been developed with the use of technology.
Trying to change that for 48 hours is futile.
32
hrs. – Breaking Point
Truth be told, I broke my fast. I made it nearly
33 hours. I woke up at 2 in the morning. I couldn’t sleep and my mind was
conceiving of a solution to world hunger, not really but at that time my half
conscious thoughts gave me the same emotional importance. It was too important
to not research and write about. So I grabbed my phone and instant relief. I
started researching the social media implications in the elections and started
to write in my notes app the thoughts that were flooding my mind.
It wasn’t long before I realized that I was
checking all the social media platforms. Somewhere in the back of my mind was a
pestering faint thought of, you’re breaking your fast, you’re breaking your
fast… It wasn’t strong enough to stop me from reading, writing, and browsing.
48
hours – Lessons Learned
Even though the fast was broken 16 hours
earlier, I tried to abstain through out the day. I watched a TED talk, learned
about poetry in Argentina and how it’s helping incarcerated individuals fix
their life and make something of them selves. I reviewed what I had wrote the
night before and found out that it was not as important as solving world
hunger. Surprise!
In general I enjoyed spending more time with my
wife and baby girl. I took more pictures and I’m excited to post them for the
world to see. I learned that even though I’ve lived nearly 2/3rds of my life
with out this technology, it quickly become a standard of life. While I remember
being happy before technology, I couldn’t remember what I did with out it, at
least to the extent of doing it again. I had to reinvent the wheel. It is
strange how much my life revolves around a small pocket device. In less than a
year that I upgraded to a smart phone, my life become consumed with it as a way
of life.
Realizing this, I would like to try and focus on
things that will keep me connected more to reality, family, friends, and
nature.
